Friends

I realize... that throughout my life, I've known so many people... made so many friends... but my life has a nasty way of isolating my past and putting it away, such that I never really have something called... friends..

friends... spanning a hundred definitions and a thousand songs... they support you, they dry you tears, they are your laughter and anguish...

I'm... I guess I've always been a loner... Not having much "friends" if you would call it....

All I ever had were people who stuck with me for a particular period of time, probably because I amused them or because I was of some use to them...

But, during that time, I truly, and genuinely regarded them as friends...



but always, in every dark, depressing situation, a friend would appear... friends that you thought lost by your own hands, appear to comfort you... to give you hope when everything else seem worthless...
they would wait till you've cried all your tears dry, and joke with you till you smile... then you would just walk away...

but always... like a shadow, not too near, but not far behind... always watching.. always waiting for the moment to relieve happy times...

Fair-weathered friends mean nothing to me, nothing but acquaintances... but a true friend is worth more then everything i have to give..



... not that I have much....



I don't even have that many that I can't count with my fingers...



.. or even one hand....



I'm a loner.... by nature... despite my penchant for verbal diarrhea... Not many people are able to converse with me the stuff I'm actually interested in...

how many people my age would happily discuss things like apocalyptic prophecies, holistic treatments and the human immune system?

they'd most likely fall asleep... my mum and dad fall asleep just hearing me talk about it...
(which is most depressing by the way)

my boyfriend gives a listening ear, but I don't even know if he understands half of what I'm talking about....





friends..



who'd be my friend?